whirlwind

well, the last two weeks my life have been topsy-turvy. i left my husband, moved into a new house on the water with my two rottweilers, and donated my left kidney to my mother. i feel like a ship in a bad storm, waves crashing from all directions.

i was with my husband for almost nine years, and married for nearly seven. i don't think the internet is the place for the details, it's just too personal. i will say that it is very, very hard, even if you're the one leaving for all the right reasons. my husband wasn't a monster (or even close), but the relationship was not good for me. it had become the major source of stress in my life. ultimately, his refusal to allow me to save my mother's life by donating my kidney is what tipped me over the edge. it's a little sad that i wasn't strong enough to do it unless there were such incredible stakes, but it is what it is.

right now i'm sitting at my computer, looking out at the chesapeake bay, watching a blue heron fish from the end of my pier. my beloved rottweilers are with me, napping as usual, and just being they're usual adorable selves.

i keep crying, but i'm never exactly sure why... mourning my separation from my husband, worry about my mother in the hospital, physical pain from my donor nephrectomy, stress from moving, loneliness. there are just too many reasons to pick one. i know i'll be fine, i always have been, and the outpouring of love from my friends and family buoys me up in this storm.